Couple of years ago when I made up my mind that Management is my way ahead I remember one of my friend suggesting that MBA’s are overrated. Running parallel to his thoughts I felt he believed that MBA as a degree was a secret CIA conspiracy to keep low IQed dementic minds in the upper ladder of the organizational level pyramids so they can get away with Bushisms. But after two years of strategic planning & SWOT analysis to derive the drivers which provide competency to attain Cost Advantage, I knew that the rationale exactly isn’t actually a Harvard origin as they claim management to be.
Some grueling sessions of third quality CGI and poorly written retelecasted mythological serials led me to reach this hypothesis.
Lets see how the activities of our deities run parallel to modern management
(Disclaimer: There is a healthy theory that I am an occasional Atheist but by no means I am putting this post as derogatory to any caste,creed and religion)
Shiva: The origin, though whether he was the input or output of the Big Bang is still very debatable. Being that he sits on the top of the universal creation tree. His job is much like any Board of Director. He meditates most of the day as part of the company ‘recreational process’ and occasionally gets moody opening his third eye creating a chaos. The event is very much similar to the recession in the markets we face occasionally. Apparently he wants mass exodus so that activities in earth,heaven and hell run smoothly, no guilts attached.
Bramha: He has three faces since three dimension was a supercool theory a century ago. But then a guy named Einstein was born and later his followers found ten dimensions showing Raavan could travel in more coordinates compared to Bramha. Bramha is incharge of all the organizational activities(Operations). He takes care of all the paperworks and also is incharge of human resource department. And for those thinking that ‘Outsourcing’ was a brainchild of the Americanos can see how billion years ago activities were designated. His offshore and nearshore partners are given below
1) Yama: Assigned with the duty of taking care of employee turnover, in simple words “death” and his sidekick: the man who sets the tough question papers of CA/CPT exam and the father of accountants aka Chitragupta.
2) Sarasvati: Or goddess of intelligence is supposed to take care of the training materials & development of employees
3) Laxmi: Supposed to make Financial projections, balance sheet, profit and loss accounts and she is the visionary of hedging and audit firms around the world.
4) Parvati: Being the CEO’s wife pays. There isn’t a glass ceiling syndrome if you are in the company by means of nepotism. Having that advantage Parvati isn’t allocated any departments but only occasional kickass (Charlie’s angels) style demolition of some selected villans, or threats
5) Indra and team: Though not an full-time employee, he & team are partial stakeholder given the higher office with “Easy chairs” for their services (like rain,wind,fire,global warming etc). Even the origin of item girls were Urvashi, Menka, Rambha and Tillottama and hence an ‘entertainment tax’ was liable on Swarga(heaven), all these made the place a potential designation any human and Asura would carve for(even die for)
PERFORMANCE CRITERION
Though Krishna quoted in Bhagwad Gita
“karmanye vadhika raste, Ma phaleshu kadachana; ma karma phala he tur bhuh, ma te sangvasta karmani “
where he mentions that ones deeds and activities is what leads to his/her performance evaluation which eventually leads to promotion there is subsequent proof that like any organization this aint the truth.
Promotion happens through tapasya or what is a phase of “eventual Buttering!!!” by one putting himself in spiritual mortification. But as we all know promoting an employee can impact you in two ways, very much like the dimwitly scripted reality shows we see on television. Backstabbing, groupgiri and all. Bramha and Shiva are very vulnerable to such sycophancy and hence they are easy targets by Asuras. Once appeared before them there is a negotiation process as most of the morons want “IMMORTALITY” or the fully air-conditioned,xbox enabled, high definition quality free television access office at Swarga(heaven). Weaker negotiators settle for ‘incremental powers’ which also could end up screwing the providers(remember Bhasmasura and the Shiva episode). When Asuras get such increments and positions at Swarga this leads to Indra emotionally blackmailing the gods leading to the next prolific murti.
Vishnu: He is supposed to clean up all the mess created by the mismanagement of Bramha and Shiva.Vishnu is like the marketing or sales guy in the office. His job requires excessive fieldwork(like reincarnation), recall and recognition of brand (why God is necessary and why we should pray), and market segmentation(creating a separate market for each gods). He is given targets like the number of Asuras to be killed, new territories to be explored etc.
With all these departments and clear-cut delegations the organization should work successfully na. Hence you have Narada who has a Phd in Office politics, and certification in conflict management(or development)
Like our own economy there are some fortunate people in that world too…
Forbes Rich list:
1) Ku
Different ways to look at the world.. and its one of them! Nicely written 🙂
Seems like you are deeply inspired by CBO (Chief Belief Officer) of Future Group – Devdutt Patnaik
Good read:
http://enterprising.in/index.php?option=com_video&id=13
Keep writing !
He he.. The Alexander and the gymnosophyst was the obvious inspiration. I love his presentation skills. No Uncle Sam giri like standing erect and speaking in a audacious pitch. Very polite, like a Sutradhar in a play.
Nice 1 awesome observation but more importantly nice corealtion with the concepts hope such could have been discussed in class rooms by our prof to make the SO CALLED COMPLEX MANAGEMENT concepts easier……
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